I get it, now

It just dawned on me what that whole COD I-want-those-teapots-but-only-if-I-can-get-them-Cash-On-Delivery... it was a tidy little lesson in boundaries for me. So here's your first transaction being dangled in front of you, but let's violate your business terms straight out of the chute. How's them apples? I actually lost sleep over this last night, because I extrapolated the transaction out to where we actually made some kind of arrangement. And it scared me because I wondered where the next boundary infraction would come from - she wouldn't like the teapots when they arrived, or they wouldn't be shipped quickly enough - all this spouted from the emails that we had sent back and forth over the last week or so. With me repeatedly stating our policy, and the other person, just as often, trying to run it over with a steam engine.

I was relieved that the outcome ended up to be - if she can't get a hold of a credit card to do the transaction, then she'll go elsewhere to get those teapots on the terms she desires. And good luck to that.

As with any time that I've held my boundaries firm, it's felt scary and empowering at the same time. I didn't cave in, and I also didn't make a sale. I think, though, that in a case like this, it's a win-win for me :-) I not only didn't make the sale, but I also didn't have to worry about the rebound effects of having made it. And it will be easier the next time someone suggests an alternative to our clearly stated purchase terms, to say, Sorry, but No. (Which was what I said all along with this - it just wasn't heard until the third time.)